mom (raising her voice slightly so she can speak to my dad down at the other end of the grocery store aisle):  do you guys want any chips?
dad (at full volume):  I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR DORITOS

I work my butt off to try to make a better life. I work lots of hours, usually missing family gatherings, friend events, and anything important. I cover others shifts more than any other host. I deal with each asshole with a smile on my face and a pleasant, understanding tone. I see the nicest people but I also see To some very mean ones. I don’t get much thanks or appreciation either.

It’s such a pity that those few assholes can take so much away from good customer experiences. They drag my day down, give me panic attacks, and drive me crazy. Still I smile and act like nothing is wrong.

But then I clock out, sit in my car and cry. I wonder why in the world I would come back the next day just to be degraded again.

Then I breathe in and I just stop.

What’s the point? Of tears? Of stress? Why should I give them one more second of my time?

That’s always easier said than done. I could forget for a while but it still comes back to haunt me.

When do things look up? When does the world right itself? Or if it doesn’t am I just stuck like this forever ?

What the fuck happens now.

I think of everything I am experiencing now,all the things you never got to do. I think of your friends,my sister, getting married and having babies. You would have been 26. I still have your care bear from when you were little. I’ve hugged it plenty of times, good days and bad days. On good days, I wish that you would still be here to feel happiness. On the bad days, I wish your life didn’t have to end at all but especially when you were sad and heartbroken.